How to make the arguments with our partner productive

It is important to make our disagreements causes for relationship development rather than fights. Disagreements are a natural and necessary part of any relationship because two people who grew up differently will have different ways, values, and habits. If one person always agrees to please the other, it can harm the relationship in the long run. The suppressed person may become tired and have outbursts for small reasons or feel mentally and emotionally distant from the relationship. If we emotionally abandon the relationship, it will eventually fall apart or exist for reasons other than the desire to be together.

Although disagreements are normal, constant fighting can poison the relationship. Frequent conflicts and fights are one of the main causes of relationship deterioration, leading to emotional detachment from our partner. During fights, everyone usually insists on their point of view and tries to convince the other person that they are right. This often leads to nobody listening to each other. To make disagreements productive, it’s important to remember these steps:

  1. Anger clouds our thinking and judgment, so staying calm and communicating effectively is essential.
  2. We should communicate what’s bothering us without blaming the other person, but instead, report how we feel because of certain events.
  3. We need to listen carefully to the other person without constantly interrupting them and try to understand their perspective.
  4. We should show that we understand their perspective and discuss possible solutions together.
  5. Solutions should be acceptable to both parties, which may require a combination of both perspectives.
  6. We shouldn’t try to talk to our partner when angry. Instead, we should listen to them without taking their tension personally.
  7. After an argument, it’s important to remain warm, give to our partner, and not sulk.

Fights often become routine, and breaking negative interaction patterns can be challenging. Talking to a psychologist or couples counselor can help improve communication and break negative cycles.

Our relationship is one of the most precious things in our lives. It’s worth fighting for!

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