My child’s daily homework is a source of tension! What can I do as a parent?

My child's daily homework is a source of tension! What can I do as a parent?

Many parents often face constant arguments about their children’s schoolwork. Children avoid doing their homework; to do it, they often need to be preceded by threats, shouts, or promises of gifts and rewards. All of these results in daily tension at home.

How can parents motivate their children to study and do their homework? Below are some recommendations.

Nurturing in a loving environment

For children to engage and love learning, they need to feel safe. A calm family atmosphere with respect, understanding, and support towards the child is essential for emotional security and stability.

Belief in the child’s abilities

Children, to make any effort, must believe that they will succeed. Help children recognize their abilities and expand them while making sure they experience success. Highlight their progress and help them set realistic goals. When they doubt their ability to succeed, remind them of their past achievements and don’t compare them to other children but only to themselves.

Clear and distinct boundaries

A clear daily schedule provides security. There should be times for sleeping, eating, schoolwork, play, and extracurricular activities. Their frequency and duration should be determined after discussion with the child and be mutually acceptable. Whenever the boundaries are not respected, there must be some consequence which has also been decided in advance after discussion and mutual agreement with the child.


Children must be and feel responsible for all activities that concern them. They have to pack their school bag and do their homework alone. They must decide in which order to perform their tasks. The role of the parents should be discreet and purely supportive only when the child needs it. They don’t sit beside them while they study and tell them the answers. They check the tasks only after the child has finished them, and if the child asks for help, they guide him to work independently.

Expression of feelings

It is essential to have parent-child time where feelings (for example, frustration, anxiety, and fear of failure that children often feel, but also parents’ stress and expectations) are calmly expressed on both sides. And be respected. It is essential to recognize positive and negative emotions, identify their causes and seek a mutually acceptable way of managing them.


Parents need to tell children that some things are worth it and encourage them to keep trying even when the going gets tough. It is essential that they set the example of constant perseverance and effort to achieve their goals.

Appropriate rewards and review

Derogatory comments discourage children and deprive them of the will to try. Instead, praise and reward are motivators and should be generously provided for the child’s effort regardless of the result. The most effective rewards are not material but beautiful experiences that the children will share with their families.

Stimuli for learning and research

Read books, watch documentaries, and visit libraries, museums, exhibitions, and science centres. Every new experience can be a source of learning. Also, allow him to put into practice at home what he learned at school. For example, make a cake to reinforce units of measurement.

Relaxation and physical activity

Give children the opportunity for physical activity and relaxation through free play outdoors or non-competitive participation in a sport. It is also essential to have idle time for children where they will calm down, relax and find their way of spending their time.

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